Chapter 4-3: Not Strong Enough

                She tried to be calm but seeing both her father and the estranged father of her daughter at her front door was almost too much to bear. Without a word, she turned heel and went to the nursery to put Brielyn down so she could deal with this. “What are they doing here? What are they doing here together? What am I going to do?”

                 “Yalena, honey, who are those people,” Ace asked as he found her standing by the crib.

                “It’s my  father and Glen, Brielyn’s father,” she responded heavily. If she expected comfort, she wasn’t going to get it.

                 “Yalena, I thought you said he was no longer in your lives? You lied to me,” he accused.

                “No, Ace, I’ve…”she tried to explain but he didn’t give her a chance.

                 “Look, I can’t do this right now. I don’t know what’s going on but I’m out of here.” He angrily spat at her and stormed out.

                Lyric couldn’t help but overhear the entire conversation from the living room. The nursery didn’t exactly have a door. It wasn’t his fault they were so loud.

                 He also couldn’t hide the smile that crept over his face as Ace declared his intent to leave.

                 Frustrated with the situation and barely able to believe Ace would just walk out like that, Yalena marched to the kitchen where the two men were waiting.

                “Both of you, in the hall, now,” she commanded.

                 ‘Yalena, I just want…” her father began.

                “Just. Stop. I don’t care what you want. I don’t even know what you are doing here. You certainly weren’t invited.”

                 “Yalena, listen,” Verne ordered. She finally quieted, just for a moment. He was still her father, like him or not. “I found out just a few weeks ago. I was so angry that you had lied to me and ran away. But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realized that I had to let you make your own decisions and mistakes.”

                Yalena eyed her father warily. Glen wasn’t in jail but she didn’t know where he was going with this.

                “Look, you practically grew up with your mother. Your sisters did grow up without her. Your grandfather practically had no parents. That’s no way for a child to be raised. So I found Glen and asked him to come here, with me. I don’t agree about your relationship and I don’t certainly don’t approve of it, but he is your child’s father.”

                “You’re forgetting something,” Yalena snapped. “I lost my father too, when my mother died. I need time to think about all this and I’m not ready to forgive you. Please leave.”

                Verne knew when to stay and when to go. He just hoped that this small step towards her was in the right direction and she would forgive him, one day.

                As Verne resigned himself to not being welcome and turned to leave, Glen turned back to Yalena.

                “And you,” she turned on Glen. “After what you told me two years ago, what right do you have to show up now, unannounced?”

                “I’m sorry,” he threw his hands in the air, as is proclaiming his innocence. “I never knew you were going to go through with it.”

                 “Well, you might have, had you bothered to even call. Obviously you figured it out.”

                 “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you. I was stupid and I was scared. Being arrested had never been my idea of where I wanted my life to go.”

                “And you think being a single, teen mother was my dream?” Yalena wasn’t interested in excuses.

                “No, but…”

                “But nothing. You were a coward. And you left me to take the fall on my own.”

                “Can I see her,” he asked.

                “No. Not today. This is a day to celebrate and the people who have been in her lives from the start are the ones who are welcome.”

                 “She’s my daughter too,” he protested.

                “You don’t get to decide that. She may be your biological daughter but you’ve done nothing to earn a spot in her life. We’ll talk later.” With that she headed back in the house and slammed the door behind her, locking it.

                In the end, it was just Yalena, Jeanie, and Lyric that celebrated little Brielyn’s birthday. Yalena had hoped Ace would change his mind and come back, but having Verne and Glen appear, unannounced was almost more than she had been able to handle. Asking a new boyfriend to quickly come to terms with it wasn’t fair. She hoped he would allow her to explain soon though.

                 As much as she was mad at Glen and wanted to deny his reappearance in their lives, looking at her daughter prevented her from being able to do that. Brielyn had his coloring, top to bottom.

                 Having a toddler now wasn’t any easier than an infant. Brielyn needed to be taught to walk and talk. She needed to be potty trained and socialized. She needed so many things more than she had as just a cute and cuddly baby. Yalena started with the potty training because, let’s face it, no one likes a dirty diaper! She felt even more exhausted than before and began thinking of letting Glen visit with her, just so she could get some peace and quiet. In the end though, she was still mad and not ready to forgive him.

                “I’m so glad you could make it,” she hugged Lyric as he arrived at the dance club. It was Yalena’s coming of age birthday party. She would finally be an adult and graduate from school. She worried that she wouldn’t be able to find a job to make ends meet anymore. She had saved all of her allowance and Xander had given her the money her father had been sending to support her. But now, as an adult, she would truly be on her own. She needed to find a job, promptly.

                 “Where’d you get that,” Jeanie asked, noting the drink in Yalena’s hand.

                “It’s my birthday, I’m allowed now,” she smirked back.

                “Yeah, yeah, just…be careful.”

                “Oh, stop being so protective. Anyway, why hasn’t Ace shown up?” She and Ace had made up over the phone but hadn’t seen each other since Brielyn’s disastrous birthday. He had been invited to Yalena’s birthday party but had been noncommittal about whether he would actually come. Since he wasn’t here, she guessed that he wouldn’t be showing up.

                “Yalena, he said he needed time to think about things. Just be patient,” Jeanie cautioned.

                 However, as the night went on, Yalena couldn’t help thinking about the situation even more. She didn’t know why he needed time to think. It’s not like she really lied. And it wasn’t like she wanted to get back together with Glen. “Well, I don’t think I do anyway.” The more she thought about it, and the more she drank, the more angry she felt.

                Yalena grabbed another drink and headed over to Lyric. With the light shining on her like that, and with that faraway, sad look in her eyes, he could barely help not grabbing her into a big hug. He tried not to look at her, but no such luck.

                “God, why do guys have to be such jerks,” she complained.

                “Which guys are we talking about here? Surely not me,” he grinned at her, clinging to his sarcastic, cocky attitude like a life preserver.

                “All guys. Ace is such a dick. It’s my fucking birthday. How can he not be here? And you, shouldn’t you be with Katherine? Where is that redheaded demon girlfriend of yours anyway?”

                “Eh, she’s around. She had some fancy dinner party with her family tonight.”

                “She’s a dick too. Not inviting you, how rude.”

                “Like I want to play dress up for her anyway,” he smirked. Though, truth be told, he had wanted that invitation. He had been playing the dutiful boyfriend long enough that he figured it was time to be introduced to the family. But no, she wasn’t interested in bringing him home to daddy just yet. He was starting to think she was using him just as much as he was using her, though for what was the question.

                Yalena headed back to the bar for yet more drinks. Three in and she was having a fantastic time with her friends, dancing and celebrating her arrival into adulthood. Four down and now she was beginning to seethe at all the disappointments the men in her life had been. At five, she began to feel self-pity and loneliness. “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want me,” she sobbed into her drink. She lurched towards the bathroom, stumbling a bit on the way.

                 She stumbled straight into Lyric, coming out of the restroom.

                “You,” she gasped.

                “Me?”

                “You’ve always been there,” she slurred as she pressed her body against him, hand tangling in his hair. 

                 “Yalena, what are you doing,” he asked, pushing her back but not quite letting go. He could not believe this could actually be happening.

                “Shhh,” she whispered. “Can you take me home now?”

                 After a short cab ride back to the apartment, Lyric relieved the babysitter and brought Yalena inside. Her hands were all over him, kisses moist and sweet against his neck. He picked her up and set her on the kitchen table, unable to make it any farther into the house. He wanted her since he met her and now, his dream was coming true.

                She leaned in to kiss him and missed his face completely. It was then that he realized he couldn’t go through with it. Not like this. As much as he wanted her, as long as he had waited for her to finally realize that he was the guy she could depend on, he wasn’t going to have their first time be something she wouldn’t remember. He wanted her to remember how she needed him, wanted her to be completely aware of just how good he would be for her. “But she does want me. Who cares if it’s now or tomorrow?”

                She retched on the floor, utterly killing any second thoughts he might have just been having. He carried her to the couch, and cleaned up the mess before joining her. He may not be willing to sleep with her tonight but he damn well was going to stay with her. She fell asleep in his lap, holding on to him. As they lay there, he even considered ending this farcical relationship with Katherine.

                 Yalena woke the next morning, surprised to find herself tangled with Lyric on the couch. She stank of booze and cigarettes from the bar and her head pounded like hammer does an anvil. She stood, probably a little too quickly which woke Lyric.

               

                “What the hell,” she grumbled. She braced herself against the couch, one part dizziness, one part total mortification at finding herself in this situation.

                “Morning sunshine,” he grinned at her, leaning in to kiss her.

                ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

                ‘You don’t remember last night? Any of it?”

                “I don’t remember inviting you to come over and stay the night? What the hell Lyric?”

                “You certainly did invite me over.”

                “And you thought to take advantage of the situation?”

                “You practically begged me to rip off your clothes in the cab.” He was pissed now. She pleads with him and stares at him with those big, green eyes, wanting him and he restrains himself and now he’s the bad guy? “If anyone took advantage it was you knowing how I feel about you. Your pretty boy doesn’t want you anymore and you think to make yourself feel better, or him jealous by fucking me. Too bad I’m not that kind of guy.”

                “You’re a total prick. Get the fuck out. Now.”

                 “With pleasure. Good luck finding another revenge fuck,” he said, slamming the door behind him.

Chapter 4.2                                                                                                                                              Chapter 4.4