The
funeral procession slid along the streets as silent as could be expected. The
group arrived at the graveyard and made their way to the simple, white chairs,
waiting in front of the open grave. A solemn, gray haired man stood at the head
of the casket, ready to say a few words to ease the pain of the living and give
the departed soul a “proper” goodbye.
Camille
would rather be anywhere than here but this event was one you just could not
miss. With her boss behind her, she had no choice but to sit, solemn and
cross-armed, waiting until the final goodbyes were said. She could hear Joshua
gritting his teeth and holding back tears behind her. She envied his grief. All
she felt was guilt. And anger, a lot of anger.
Finally,
the service was done and Camille rushed to get away from this cold place. Angie
led the way silently, knowing not to pry. Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind
her and, a second later, a hand on her elbow.
“Camille,
wait,” Donovan stopped her.
She
turned, swinging her hand towards him. “Now is not the time for an interview,
you insensitive asshole.”
“I’m not
asking for that interview and I think you know it.”
“You
have the appointment time for the interview. Either you come or you don’t.
Otherwise, I have nothing to say to you.” She spun back around, marching
towards the cemetery gates, expecting to hear him pursuing her or attempting to
persuade her to talk but he hung back, allowing her to leave without further
incident.
As she
lay in bed that night, she thought over what she knew Donovan really wanted to
talk to her about. After the ambulance had rushed to the neglected homestead,
they had carefully loaded Pearl into it, grim about her chances. Camille wanted
to ride with them. After all, it was her fault that Pearl was on the edge of
life and death. She had been the one to insist that they could handle the
situation. She had been the one to underestimate her opponent and now her best
friend was very likely going to die.
Angie
had made it clear that Camille needed to wait for internal affairs and the
medical examiner to arrive so that the events leading to the shootout could be
recalled and reviewed as soon after the fact as possible. After her on the
scene interview, she was brought back to the station for yet another round of
questioning. Finally, she was permitted to go home and shower and was put on
temporary suspension until the investigation was concluded. She had no worries
about her job; she had acted as best she could under the circumstances.
Regardless, Pearl was at the hospital fighting for her life and Camille found
she could not sleep.
Eventually,
she fought it no longer and drudged down to the intensive care unit. She was
not allowed in to see Pearl but looked on through the window, fighting back
tears as her eyes followed all the tubes and wires hooked up to machines,
beeping, helping her best friend stay alive.
“Hey
now, don’t cry,” she heard a voice behind her. She looked up to see the
obnoxious reporter standing beside her. She bristled, ready to berate him for
stalking her to this place for his scoop but she found that it only made her
feel guiltier. Her anger and desire for revenge was the cause of everything.
“She’s
going to pull through,” he soothed her.
“How can
you possibly know that,” she demanded, voice thick, eyes blinking back any
signs of weakness.
“Because
I know people everywhere, including people on staff. Don’t lose hope just yet.”
She
didn’t know if it was her gratitude for his words or her need for comfort to
assuage her remorse but somehow, instead of pulling away, she found herself
drawing closer to him. Soon, her need was too much for a hospital hallway and
they found themselves in a supply closet across the hall, holding each other
tight, barely catching a breath as she used him to forget everything.
Unfortunately,
as Camille well knew, forgetting never lasts long. He made it clear in the
cemetery today that he was not going to be forgetting soon. At least the
interview would take place at the station and, if nothing else, Donovan Matter
was too professional to let their personal affair interfere with his career. Afterwards,
she planned on avoiding him at all costs.
Something
easier said than done, as she quickly discovered. With everything happening
lately, Camille had even less desire to spend time with people but, sometimes,
sitting boarded up in her house was too much to bear. It was during those
moments that she would find herself traveling across town to central park to
read or meandering down the boardwalk to watch the waves, just to hear the
cacophony of the masses without necessarily having to interact with them
herself.
On one
such visit, she was looking out at the ocean, struggling to keep her mind blank
when she saw Donovan approaching.
“What
are you doing here,” she grumbled.
“Fine,
you want to pretend what happened a couple of weeks ago never happened. Works
for me.”
“Just
like that?” She was suspicious.
“Just
like that.”
“Now,
c’mon!”
“What? I
thought we were pretending nothing happened?”
“We are.
Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.” He dragged her to the photo booth.
She
wasn’t really sure what exactly he planned but when the flashbulbs started
popping, he began making silly faces. She raised an eyebrow at him but soon,
she was making funny faces right along with him. When they emerged, she pulled
the pictures from the slot and groaned at how awful she looked. For the first
time in weeks though, she actually laughed.
They
spent the next few hours playing games along the boardwalk; ring tosses, skeeball,
even a claw dipper. When the sun set, she realized that she had spent hours in
his company without thinking of Pearl’s injury, Chris’s death, and the still
pending investigation.
“Donovan,
thank you for making me forget, for just a little while.”
He took
her hand tentatively. “I like you Camille. I’ll help you forget whenever you
need me to.”
She had
no plans to take him up on the offer. As nice as it had been, she still had no
desires to get seriously involved with anyone. Somehow though, she always found
some reason to seek him out and they never did the same thing twice. One
weekend, they went to the beach. Another outing was to the local aquarium.
Never once did he press her for a kiss or attempt to hold her hand as they
walked together. She found his behavior both comforting and maddening. Is he only interested in being friends? Does
he take pity on me? Is there another story he needs help with that I don’t know about yet?
“Oh my
Watcher Pearl! This dress is pink! And what do you have me wearing in my hair?”
“Shut up
and like it. Don’t you owe that to me after nearly getting me shot to death,”
Pearl jested.
“I’m
kidding, I’m kidding,” she shouted when she saw her friend’s face fall. “He
deserved it and if I got a little scar in the process, that’s fine. Besides, I
also got this diamond.”
It was
true. After the shootout, Joshua had realized that his time with Pearl,
especially in her line of work, was not as infinite as he would like it to be
and he quickly proposed. The wedding was beautiful. Donovan had agreed to be
Camille’s date and even coordinated his tie with her pink maid of honor dress.
The vows
were said under the sweeping branches of the willow trees, on the bank of the
river as the sun set. While she couldn’t picture getting married herself,
Camille couldn’t help think that the ceremony was beautiful and she may have
even shed a tear or two.
She didn’t
know if it was the gooey romantic reception or the open bar that had her in a
particularly friendly mood but Camille suddenly found herself kissing Donovan,
right on the dance floor, in front of all the guests. Pearl, and even Ian,
looked happy that Camille was opening up to someone. Donovan himself was a
little surprised at Camille’s very public display of affection but he knew
better than to say something about it and risk her retracting those affections.
Camille
hated to admit it to herself but Donovan really did make her happy. She wasn’t
feeling particularly sappy about it, nor was she doodling his last name with
hers or anything like that but she enjoyed spending time with him. They often
talked on the phone when they got off work and saw each other out a couple of
times a week. During one such date, she finally invited him over to her place
for the first time.
“I
think, if you’d want to that is, that I’d like you to spend the night,” she
said, as they walked to her door, his hand already on the knob. She wanted to
give him the opportunity to bolt or even politely decline. He didn’t though and
she found herself leading him to her bedroom.
Aside
from swimming trunks, she had never really taken the time to fully appreciate
his body. Their carnal affair in the supply closet at the hospital had been
brief, half dressed and Camille had been too busy trying to put the situation
out her mind to fully appreciate the beauty of Donovan’s assets. Lying in bed
with him she felt almost shy and a little in awe that he had been interested
and even more so, patient with her. He truly was a fine specimen on the male
gender.
“Oh my
Watcher Pearl. I actually asked him to stay the night! Can you believe me,”
Camille groaned the next day when Pearl stopped by. She and Joshua had just
flown back in from their honeymoon in Sunlit Tides and she had, of course,
wanted to see her best friend right away.
“I think
it is sweet,” Pearl gushed, ever the romantic. Camille thought she was twice as
maudlin since getting married.
It soon
became apparent that Camille’s doubts and fears about inviting Donovan to spend
the night weren’t completely unfounded. Three pregnancy tests and uncountable
trips to the bathroom to puke her waffles up later, Camille confirmed that she
might be facing her worst nightmare. She was pregnant.
“Pearl,
I have to tell you something. I don’t really know what to do,” Camille invited
the only person over that she could talk to. “I’m pregnant.”
“That’s
fantastic!” Camille should have known that sappy Pearl would think this as
nothing but happy news.
“You’re
insane.”
“It’s
amazing! Because Joshua and I are having a baby too,” Pearl exclaimed, excited
to be sharing her news and even more excited that she could share all the
pregnancy firsts with her best friend. What girl doesn’t wish for that?
“Pearl,
that’s great. You and Joshua are married and love each other. You’re still on
desk duty since the incident which is fine with me. I’ve got too much going on
with work. And I don’t love Donovan. We just have a good time together. I don’t want to have a baby.”
“Wait,
are you saying that you’re considering…” Pearl let the unvoiced word linger in
the air. Camille sighed.
“I don’t
know.”
“Think
about it, before you decide anything, please. And promise me you will tell
Donovan first. He deserves to know.” At that point, Pearl dropped the subject and Camille played the role of dutiful friend, cooing over her friend's non-existent belly and pretending that she was only experiencing this third person.
She
thought over her friend’s words for weeks. Agonized over them, in fact. She had
never really had an opinion on abortions, always thinking it was something for
someone else, nothing she would ever have to worry about. She had been careful,
in the few and far between trysts she had had. She had never expected to find
herself in this situation. Strictly technically speaking, she shouldn’t have to
be worrying about it now either. Camille herself took precautions against this
sort of thing and extra “software” precaution measures had been in place. Yet,
still, here she was, single and pregnant.
Her mind
thought back to her mother. Three children and three fathers later, Yalena had
finally managed to end up with the “right” guy though Camille had her own thoughts
on the matter. Her father, Ace, had never settled down with the right woman
though he hadn’t had any other children. Love just wasn’t something that
Camille could believe in. Looking at Pearl though, it was hard not feel a tiny
speck of something that might be called hope hiding down deep in her heart. According
to history though, having a child with someone did not mean the two parents
belonged together or even loved each other.
She
sighed. She was no closer to a decision than she was before. Her stomach reeled
once again and Camille, as she so often did, wondered how it was possible for
such a tiny, little embryo to create such strong reactions in her body. With
all her doubts and considerations, Camille at least had come to one deduction:
she needed to tell Donovan. This was his baby too and he, at least, should know
about its existence, regardless of her decision.
Before
she could change her mind, she texted him and asked to meet him at the local
coffee shop down the street. She fussed over her appearance in the mirror,
wanting to look good for him, even when she was bearing such dismal news. She
made it to the little café and sat, drinking decaf coffee, waiting for his
motorcycle to pull up in front.
When he
arrived, she wasted no time dragging out the inevitable.
“I’m
pregnant,” she blurted out with all the finesse of a charging bull. She could
tell he didn’t quite know what to think. “Yeah, right there with you buddy. I
wasn’t exactly expecting it either.”
“No, I
just, I don’t know what to say.” He leaned over suddenly, placing his hand on
her small bump, only a few weeks in, not that she was keeping track.
“That’s
our baby in there,” he whispered, in awe. Suddenly she knew that she could
never go through with an abortion. She knew it was ultimately her choice but
his immediate acceptance and amazement of the situation thawed her heart just a
little and made her see what he saw, for just a small flash. Then he pulled her
close and opened his mouth.
“Camille,
I know that we’re not really in that place yet but I want you to know that I
really care about you and I already love our baby. Marry me.”
She
instantly pulled away, pushing her from him, trying to keep the panic from reaching the surface.
“Stop
talking.”
“What?”
“It
really means a lot to me that you would offer that but I don’t love you. I don’t
want to get married. I’ll keep the baby. I won’t even fight you for custody if
you want it full time. But no marriage. No us. It’s just not…what I want.” And
without looking back, she left the coffee shop.
Look! I didn't kill her off. Reya, you can continue speaking to me and scrap that nasty PM you've had sitting in your draft box for weeks now!
Also: Pearl's diamond. Joshua knew what he was doing and got his princess a pink princess cut. That perky blonde sure is spoiled. :P
In other news, I am back! It's been a long time coming and I'm not exactly 100% happy with this chapter. However, I've had it sitting back for such a long time that I just needed to get it out there. With James home for almost two weeks now, we're finally settling back into a routine which includes me getting a chance to play with my game some. Not that I was a regular updater before but I'm trying. Sorry for such the long wait and suspense but hopefully the gooey-ness of this chapter more than makes up for it! Forgive me?
